You Broke Up with Someone Great

Firstly, understand that beautiful woman can have almost any guy they want and as a result of this, the sole guys with the sack to approach them, tend to be rich and good looking and very drunk. I know this isn’t making you feel any better, but here comes the silver lining; these men tend to be boring, like really boring (okay maybe not the drunk guy), which means you can use humor to your advantage. You’ve probably never seen a comedian that was both rich AND abnormally handsome (and rightly so! That’s WAAAY too many things for one person to have going on). So basically she probably doesn’t know anyone more attractive than you. Use that. Wealth I don’t even know why I’m explaining this shit; everyone knows that money makes people sexy. However, it also makes people weak (with great power comes great responsibility!).imlive cam

Now… Uhm, if you don’t have a lot of money, you can scroll past this next part, you’re safe, BUT IF YOU DO! Listen up; wealth is a sign of value, but only when used sparingly, if not, it can have quite the opposite effect. Humility is attractive, i.e.,; being rich as fuck, but not making a big deal out of it. The worst thing you can ever do is try to win a woman’s affection by buying her expensive stuff (sure, you can give her nice shit, AFTER you’ve gotten her, but never before!). Spending large sums of money on strangers is a great way to show people you’re a loser. Some women will ask you for expensive gifts, just to see if you’ll buy it, learn to say NO, it’s a very powerful word, especially to women that aren’t used to hearing it. Confidence “As you sow, so shall you reap.” Let me break it down for you, if you plant a bunch of awesome seeds, you’re going to grow a big fucking awesome tree. The easiest way to get women interested in you is to be confident, tell yourself you’re the shit, and you’ll be the shit! Confidence is strongly linked to success, and people who view a confident man will always assume he has stuff going for him! Pre-Selection Well, this one sounds complicated, but it’s simple enough. You ever felt like women want you more when you’re in a relationship? Well, you’re right, they do want you more, and it is a conspiracy. Nobody wants anything unless other people want it too. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “if you want the girl, hit on her friends,” well, I don’t suggest putting the moves on them per se, but get them to like you. I don’t care if her friends look like they just ate rotten tomatoes, chat them up!!

If other females find you attractive, she’ll most likely follow suit. Status If you hung out with the Kardashians for a day, the paparazzi would probably start following you around too! Okay, that was a bit far-fetched, but you get the point, women want to be associated with a well-connected individual. If you aren’t a celebrity, there are clever approaches to display status. Here’s a PRO-TIP for you: Find a cafe or restaurant that’s relatively close to your house (one that’s nice, yet not super fancy, this is important). Go there a few times by yourself, tip the waiters well and LEARN THEIR FIRST NAMES, the moment you do this, you become what is known as a “regular.” Do not underestimate the power of taking a girl out on a date to a place that considers you a regular. Especially if it’s a place with good looking waitresses calling you by your first name, then you will get a two for one, status and pre-selection, cha-ching! Dominance Here is the place where soldiers, policemen and other uniformed men get to shine, as you probably know, these jobs don’t pay really, but they do give you the power to tell people (other men) what direction to go (Apparently this turns some women on). But it’s not just violence that displays dominance, quite to the contrary.

It’s been long debated why women like doctors, most people think it’s because they’re wealthy or educated (wrong, most doctors aren’t rich, and physicists tend to be smarter). The real reason being that every day, doctors have the lives of other people (other men) in their hands and without their help, these other men would very likely die. Which can be quite a lot of power if you think about it. Here’s the good news: You don’t need all of these to be considered a attractive man. In fact, for most women, you only need to display two of these, and chances are you already have one, and you’re not utilizing it to its full potential, unlock the attractive man inside you. I hope you enjoyed reading this and if you have any questions feel free to email me at [email protected]. Cheers! Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox!

Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook2Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: For Men Tagged in: #Life #self #improvement #dating #women, advice, love, Sex Perhaps you’re a nice guy.

The Difference Between Neediness and Persistence

You don’t take advantage of a situation; you let your buddy get in there because of the girl. Maybe you don’t take chances. Maybe you feel that you’re just a genuinely good guy, great even. Perhaps you feel you’re so freaking nice and awesome you never have to eat the heel end of a piece of bread. I’m here, today, to tell you that you’re probably right. However, it doesn’t matter cause it’s not likely to get you laid… Or if it does, it’s not going to be on your terms. First off I’m not going to tell you that you need to be an asshole to the world at large. I’m telling you that the world has a wicked sense of humor and loves to yank on the “short ones.” That is, grow some thick skin and shave em’ clean. If you want to read more, then please do. Example A Jim Doohan. He’s a nice guy, much loved by his friends and colleagues. You ask any past girlfriend, “he’s just a great guy, amazing and wonderful. I really hope he finds someone worthy of his love.” Loosely translated this means: “Great guy, but he bends and breaks with the slightest northerly breeze.

That is, the guy’s sweet as pie, but he gets walked all over. Jim doesn’t view a should change his ways. I’m able to respect that; a guy that sticks to his guns. However, it’s not going to get him the respect that women want. Women need to respect the men they are with. This respect doesn’t just stop at talent or intelligence or emotional stability. A woman needs to respect her man for the boundaries that he creates; she needs to be reassured that if she pushes her man that he’s going to have the spine to push back! He feels there is a compromise in being that guy that turns into a jerk and pushes back.

In his mind he feels that not being nice, means that he’s going to be disrespectful and rude to his woman, or to his friends for that matter. That’s not the case, though. Pushing back merely means standing your ground and saying “no” or, if the situation calls for it, “get the f*ck out of here before I beat you to death with a Garden Gnome” (don’t ask me why I chose Garden Gnome, it’s 4am as I write this). Example B Garced is a young man, with a heart of fudge; pliable, sweet and rich. As dependable friend as anyone could ask for. Yeah, he’s that’s awesome. To be his friend is to understand how truly lucky one can be in life. Sometimes friends take advantage of this kindness… I have taken advantage of this kindness. I owe this guy money, not thousands of dollars, but a couple hundred. He’s never asked for it, it’s not as though he couldn’t use it. I’m not the only one in this category, however. The friends that need him often bulldoze him. More times than not he just can’t put his foot down.

Is that his friends’ fault or is it Garced’s? In love, well, this is a whole other matter. Garced has made me proud after breaking a sexual dry spell spanning a couple presidential terms. Today, man oh man… He’s certainly made me proud. He’s begun to discover his inner jerk. Speaking of which, we all NEED that inner jerk. We just do. It’s what preserves us and keeps us from getting railroaded by the more aggressive types of the world, the alphas, if you will.

He’s managed to torpedo his insanity by playing the ping pong ball between two paddles. These paddles represent women, if you needed clarification. He’s managed to engage in x-rated congress with each woman, telling each one about the other and now they are both demanding his time and attention. Not a bad situation to be in, unless you really could do without doing either one of them. You know, life is tough enough without Irony coming to your party and wrecking your day. Garced now has a “full garden” from which to delight himself, but these are not the fruits he sought. Is this a case of the grass being greener on the other side? No. This is a case of being yanked into a situation and not being firm enough and dickish enough to get out of it. The man is being controlled by his situation. Being nice will get you lot of things. People will admire you, but you’re likely not getting the best of the situation, it’s getting the best of you (not to quote the Foo Fighters or anything). Let your inner jerk out and get some exercise once in a while, kids. What do you think?

Even if you’re nice, should you be a jerk sometimes to let people know what lines and boundaries not to cross? Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook2Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, For Men, Opinion Tagged in: Dating, nice guys Dating is scary. Putting yourself on the table for someone to either pick up or pass on? That’s the kind of uncertainty that will make even the most stable stomach turn. But dating should be an exciting endeavor, and there are a few fun tactics you can enact in your dating life to make it a more interesting—and educational—experience.

There’s a Plot to Revolutionize Online Dating. Are You In?

For instance, have you thought to learn how to read your date through what, and how, they eat? You can learn a lot from a person considering dining habits, and picking up some key methods of deducing facets of a person’s personality from their eating techniques is a great way to determine if a second date is worth your time. In fact, their behaviors from the moment the walk through the door of the restaurant, to the minute the sign the check at the end, can open you up to a whole new perspective on your date that simple conversation and flirting won’t convey. Location, location, location Before you slap on your evening wear and pick somewhere elegant yet affordable off Yelp!, consider the Diet Solution Program reviews of different healthy eating plans, and dig a little deeper into your dining options. Then, pick a place that lines up that’s best for your diet. When you suggest it to your date, you’ll pick up on subtle, telling clues. If you suggest Ethiopian and they immediately shoot it down for burgers and beer, you’re probably not about to spend the evening with someone who’s into trying new things. But if they’re up for hibachi, even if they’ve never been, they’re probably more fun-loving and outgoing. Order’s up?

You are what you eat, but being out with someone you’re feeling out the waters with can curb your appetite a bit. It can also cause you to a lot more likely to opt for a salad and soda when you’re really aching to give the ostrich burger a try. Remember: your date’s likely to feel the same way. So, don’t immediately write him off if he just hastily picks something off the “today’s specials” menu when the waitress comes by. He’s probably nervous, which means he’s interested. This little piggy didn’t go on a second date There’s a difference between your, “bowl of ice cream in front of the TV alone,” eating habits and your, “just met you and want to make a good impression,” eating habits, right? You’d never use your sleeve as a napkin on a first date. You take smaller bites, and you never talk with your mouth full. If your date doesn’t observe these cardinal rules, he’s likely a slob in a lot of other facets of life, too. And even worse, he might be downright disrespectful. It could not be cause for a deal breaker, but slovenly consumption of food is a definite red flag to keep an eye on.

 a particular eating program called  The Truth About Abs Reviews actually has a couple funny horror stories of dates who became too seduced with their meal to focus on the person in front of them. Eyes on the prize If your date’s eyes stay locked on the table, he’s probably not trying to memorize his salad; He’s probably nervous. To reiterate, that’s a good thing. If he’s making eye contact? Even more of a bonus. Now, if his eyes wander to the neighboring table or, worse, the waitress’ backside when she walks away? That’s a red flag. A BIG one. You’re an adult and you know that there are other people in the world that your significant other—no matter what stage your relationship’s in—will find attractive. But the beginning of a relationship is a hands-off period when both people needs to have eyes only for each other, especially when they’re together. You’re building trust, and in case eyes are anywhere but in your moment, time to ask for the check. Chivalry is asexual Whether you’re out with a new guy or a new girl, the most telling part of a first date is the end. No, not the, “should we kiss?” moment when you part ways in the parking lot.

No, I mean if the check arrives. The movies tell you that the guy should pay; magazines say women should take the initiative; reality says that when two people care about each other, they take care of each other, and that means sharing the burden. Your date, whether a he or a she, should make a move to pay. So should you. But you date, regardless of gender, should let you get your way—whether that’s splitting the bill, paying it all, or allowing yourself to be treated.   Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook7Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, Relationships, Tips & Advice Tagged in: Dating, observations, pursuit of love, Relationships Numbers don’t lie.

Your age, your weight, the number of sexual partners you’ve encountered; concrete evidence of experience. Be it days, or dinners or the need for instant gratification, with every addition to the count how happy are you? Abstinence. I thought it was that green liquor that made you hallucinate fairies. Turns out, our generation barely knows the definition because we live in fear of what it might say about our character. To most, there are two reasons why a person might not engage in sexual intercourse. The involuntary repercussions of either being unattractive…or a loser. I get it, people don’t always get it because they can’t always get it…but what if the people with the brains and the beauty held out for something a little more meaningful than a night under the sheets with someone they barely have anything in common with? What if just a few more people with the actual option practiced restraint from indulging in promiscuity? Mind. Blown. I met a gentleman who’s purity was not evident. He looked like the form of guy who broke hearts and etched notches on his bed post often. But, after making him feel comfortable enough to admit to a stranger of his venture from social norms he confessed that sex was not on his agenda, not now…and frankly maybe not ever. After the initial shock of rejection (internalized that little mystery right quick), I realized this wasn’t something he decided within the first half hour of knowing me.

It had nothing to do with me, nor would it ever. It was a journey that most of us scared adults would never bring to fruition and he was living it every day. I had a million questions. Why now? Have you thought to ten years ago? When does it end? What makes for an exception? How bad do your balls hurt? He answered everything with an honest and open heart, reminding me that he, like most people, doesn’t need physical intimacy to develop a deep and everlasting connection. *insert line about testing the car before you drive it off the lot* *insert eye roll* *insert vomit* *insert hanging self* Every time I think about holding off, about retracting the gift of my body for the pure ecstasy of a strangers validation I hear the men in my life reminding me that they would never put a ring on a finger that hasn’t sensed the warmth of their irresponsible shaft. This personal decision is tough enough without the added concern that I won’t find a single man forgiving of my decision. As if my ratio of eligible suitors wasn’t at an all-time low, now I want to find someone who understands core values and doesn’t laugh in my face when I tell him I won’t blow him in the parking lot. Here we go. Sex. I understand the want, but lately, I’ve been questioning the need. It’s a fine line, the one between keeping someone with potential from fleeing and giving some asshat off the street a quick orgasm. I think it’s time to start leaving people better than we find them and psychologically there’s nothing at the bottom of an empty one-night-stand besides the guilt and the regret.

Therein lies the power to wait. The power to give less, but essentially hand our generation so much more. You don’t have to be the one to say no, but somebody has to. If I don’t, then she won’t, and then he won’t see the dependence on it either. And then we all just fuck each other into some STD ridden empty abyss of lost souls and angry lovers. That’s why this year, I choose abstinence. Not due to religious affiliation. Or health concerns. Certainly not because it’s trendy, or helpful. I am a product of everything I internalize and self-love is not sensed in my moments of sexual desperation. I hate everything about the moment I wake up next to someone who hasn’t even asked me my last name. Sex is easy. Intercourse is fun. Diving into someone’s fears, dreams, and aspirations before I get to that part is difficult and scary. But in the end, it will only intensify my admiration for the person who was meant to have me for the rest of our lives. They say, do things in full or not at all, but I am conscious of the difficulty of the task at hand and am not afraid to do it partially.

Because I have freely chosen to take on what I think only statistically 3 percent of our world’s population is successful at, I’ll accept a low grade on this project just as long as I learn how to “fast” appropriately. #joinme Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook33Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships Tagged in: Abstinence, love, Online Dating, Relationships Before this summer I had zero experience with dating apps (and dating in general). Tinder wasn’t even released until two years after my long-term boyfriend and I had started dating. In the nearly seven years of our relationship I had played around on my friends’ apps, but never swiped left/right, Bumbled, Grouper’d, OkCupid’d, or Coffee Meets Bagel’d for myself. Finding myself suddenly single at the beginning of the summer, and in desperate need of distraction, I dove headfirst into the pool of online dating. I started with Tinder because a) my town is too small for anything else and b) my cold, dead heart wanted hookups, not dates. That’s the whole purpose of Tinder, right? Tinder met most of my expectations: the initial “wanna fuck?” messages, dick pics, and an ejaculation video (why is that a thing?). I went a handful of dates, met some cool guys and some not-so-cool guys, and I hung out with a few truly interesting people (a radio DJ who runs a wedding business on the side and a former marine/aspiring sommelier, just to name a few). What I did not expect from Tinder, however, was how most of these interactions started to make me feel good about myself.

I mean, really good about myself. Like nearly every other woman in the world, I have never been happy with my body. At a size ten, I’m labeled “plus sized” and I have worn glasses on and off throughout my whole life.